The Juju Experience II

Meanwhile, the Juju torture continues. Up next, the Red Giant! This one is the real challenge.  It has such a nice color and smell that I expected a fruity taste. My sister asked to take a sip first, and the look on her face tells me I am not up for anything fruity. Then she goes, "aaaaah...lasang canal!"

Beets, pineapple, carrots and ginger.

I calmed myself and told her she's being melodramatic. And then I drank it, and I felt like I've gone to hell and back. I was confused because it smelled really good. It's a bit sweet, but it tasted like the earth. Like mud...and dirt...and the taste left in my mouth when the guys came by to clean our septic tank. I had to chase every gulp with mint tea. By some miracle, I finished it, and I was thankful that I was only doing the one day cleanse, because there is no way I am drinking this again. Everrrr.

The mint leaves and the tea were courtesy of Kororo, who dropped by after his work to check if I'm still alive (his very own words).

Next drink is Alkazest. I don't need to look it up to know it's made of suha (grapefruit), from the smell alone. And it's quite good, although Spicy Limonada still tops my list. I see the pattern now. They alternate the yucky drinks with the yummy ones. It's also like being on an emotional roller coaster, you dread it, and then you look forward to it, and then you dread the next drink again, and so on. 

Alkazest: Grapefruit, pineapple and coconut juice.

I had to ask my sister to bring the drink up to my room because the smell of food in our dining room was driving me mad. I passed by it twice to get a drink of water and this lone piece of greasy hotdog was just screaming at me to eat it. I had to cover my ears as I ran back to my room.

 And then back at my room, I started to dread again the remaining Green Bomb. So I passed the time away reading the Storm of Swords, because I wanna get ahead of Game of Thrones, and do a critic of how they deviated again from the book. But of course, I had to be on the part where King Joffrey marries Margeary and the wedding will have seventy-seven courses. They started with a "creamy mushroom soup with buttered snails on gilded bowls," followed by "sweetcorn fritters and hot oatbread with bits of date, apple and orange." And why not have "crabs boiled in fiery eastern spicers," and "trenchers filled with chunks of chopped mutton stewed in almond milk with carrots, raisins and onions?" And since we're at it, let's not forget to have "slivers of swan poached in a sauce of saffron and peaches" as well. 

The thing with the Juju cleanse is that you will not go hungry. You're always up for another drink before hunger sets in. But the craving is a whole different matter. I started listing down the food I will gorge on the following day, and even memorized them: chicken joy (2piece, and extra rice please), sundae, corned beef breakfast at Jollibee, spaghetti, a quarter-pounder, sausage platter...

And then Joffrey died in the book, choking on his wedding pigeon pie (actually he was poisoned, but I spoiled the story already, so enough). It jolted me back to reality and I was filled with shame. This is how I got obese in the first place, giving in to my cravings, and always "rewarding" myself, for putting in those overtime hours at work. I have to stay positive about this cleanse. Some did it for 3 days, and with 5 bottles of Green Bomb a day at that. I can do this without losing my mind. I keep repeating like a mantra what the pamphlet says: This is my gift to my body, and my body will thank me for it.

But as I gulp down this Green Bomb, I felt it rise up my throat again, as vomit. I sipped more mint tea to keep it down. Then I had to sit very still until I finished the entire bottle because the slightest movement  might cause the Green Bomb to spill out of me. I realize now that no psyching up could make me do this cleanse for a second day. It might be good penitensya for the lenten season, so I just might try it again in a year or so, but never for more than one day. I just have to make some lifestyle changes and increase my intake of green salads.

And finally, Salaba't Lemon, the sixth and final drink. I happily drink this, knowing liberation is near. I pat myself in the back, for not ingesting anything else for the day except these 6 bottles of juice and the permitted mint tea and water.

Salaba't Lemon made of ginger, honey and lemon.

I read the blogs on Juju and found that some people actually experienced nausea and generalized weakness. Thankfully, that did not happen to me (with perhaps the exception of the occasional gagging during the Red Giant and the second bottle of Green Bomb). All in all, it wasn't so bad. So this morning, on my way to work, I passed by a Mcdo Drive-thru, and felt a little less guilt when I had this for breakfast.

No hashbrown, because I'm turning a new leaf.