The Juju Experience

Kororo was bugging me all week about the Juju cleanse. We're both been recently "diagnosed" as obese, so I said, sure, what the hell.

So first, we had to bicker over what cleanse to get. He wanted to get the three-day, level 3 cleanse (which I later found depends on how many Green Bombs you're supposed to take in a day).  I wanted to be more realistic and try the one-day, level 1 cleanse (only two Green Bombs, yey). As it always go in our relationship, I got my way. Kororo ordered online the one-day level 1 cleanse, and on Saturday afternoon, we got the delivery as promised:

Each pack contains 6 bottles of drink which we're supposed to drink every 2.5 hours. The bottles are numbered, so you have to be an idiot to mess it up. And they come in these really cool, insulated packaging, with packed ice.

Then just like that, I was filled with panic. Like I'm going to be sent to a barren desert with no certainty of being rescued. I know the website says I should prepare for my cleanse by reducing my intake of carbs and animal protein and all that, but I found myself wolfing down bowls after bowls of rice. And during a drive home, a strawberry sundae at a drive-thru.

The Green Bomb, Spicy Limonada, Red Giant, Alkazest, another Green Bomb (please God, no), and Salaba't Lemon. Don't let the cheerful colors fool you.

This morning, I woke up ravenously hungry. It must be the workings of my subconscious, knowing that it will be starved today of all the fat and oils my body was accustomed to. I headed to the refrigerator and got the Green Bomb (Drink No. 1). Notice how all the "sludge" has settled to the bottom? Don't forget to shake it well. 

The Green Bomb. Cucumber, celery, coconut water, malunggay, pineapple, romaine lettuce and spinach. All the things I avoided as a child.

Well, I was a little disappointed because it was not as bad as I expected. It tasted like cucumber, with something funky in it. I'm a big salad eater, but never liked the taste of cucumber. By the third gulp, I started getting goosebumps. It did not help that I was drinking it slowly, like the website says (because digestion starts in the mouth!). 

Then I started blogging to keep my mind off my personal famine. And to keep away from my evil sisters who are talking of cooking spaghetti today. And I watched a Jackie Chan movie because all those martial arts should hopefully inspire me to be fit. And, oh,  it's time for the next drink! Spicy Limonada!

Now this drink is the bomb! Made of cayenne pepper, honey and lemon, I could drink it all day. The cayenne pepper was a nice touch, leaving a taste of spice in my throat. I should make this every day. And I'm sorry I don't have a picture because I downed it really fast. 

So there it is. Two down, four more to go. There's a little rumble going in my stomach, but I'm probably just being a baby about this.